Official Joe Bartolozzi Totality Shirt
Buy this shirt: https://vicetshirt.com/product/official-joe-bartolozzi-totality-shirt/
Let me explain. Once upon a time, I played the Official Joe Bartolozzi Totality Shirt besides I will buy this dating game. My outfits were the pieces I moved across the chessboard. The photographer that wanted to meet up at a dive bar. Saw him there in my Levi 501s. That European guy with an ambiguous job and a reservation at an overpriced downtown hotspot. As long as my Rotate minidress and I weren’t paying. The startup bro who was sooo busy and could only grab a drink at 9:30 on a Tuesday. He definitely wasn’t looking for anything serious, but I foolishly entertained him in my Vince slip dress for months.
That was in 2020 B.C (before corona.) Now, I’m not even meeting my delivery guy in person, let alone a suitor. But, somehow, I can’t shake my aesthetic association with romance and fashion, even as dates shrink to a screen. So on Friday nights, I set up a video call and prop my laptop up on a crooked pile of coffee table books. Then, I comb through my closet, seeking sartorial solace while my television blares and sirens wail in the Official Joe Bartolozzi Totality Shirt besides I will buy this background. For a few seconds, I’ll forget my reality. I’m just a girl, who likes a guy, and has the perfect top to show it.
A month into quarantine, I’ve made my fair share of digital dressing mistakes (a white button down against a white wall, FYI, looks like you’re in a panic room) as well as some successes (spoiler alert: polka dots.) Below, 16 suggestions on what to wear for a Zoom date. Here’s to finding love in a hopeless place. “I’m just going to wear something that looks like I could have been wearing it all day,” my friend Adriana texts me before a recent date. She’s got a point. An hour ago, you were lying on your couch with a bowl of popcorn, replying to work emails with “I hope you are staying safe!” You know it, and your date knows it, because they were likely doing the Official Joe Bartolozzi Totality Shirt besides I will buy this exact same thing. So a flattering neutral, that can transition from Zoom meeting to Zoom date, is a practical and versatile virtual choice.
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